Most Teens Are Cooler Than I Am

Hey guys, its Alissa. I thought that since taking on writing every single day might make Rochelle grumpy and crazy, I would help her out by writing something on here. First of all, I am a terrible librarian for anyone over 10, because I don't read as much as I should. Unless of course it's People magazine. I can tell you all about how Jessica Simpson is in a weight battle, or how the Octo-mom is all kinds of crazy though. Really important stuff. You would think with my vast knowledge of pop culture I would be irresistibly cool, hip, and with the times. I thought I was all of these things, until I stupidly helped with a Teen Bible Study last week. The group was full of teens ages 12-17 (maybe older because I swear one of them looked at least 30). They were all really welcoming to me. I have to wonder if it has to do with the fact I am five feet tall and have braces. (and totally smokin') Anywho, we played the Human Knot which is a prime way to find out if someone has body odor or get up close and personal with someone you have a crush on. (Tic-Tacs are a must!) During the game my voice was cracking, because I was recovering from a massive cold that left me sounding like a combo between Linda Blair in "The Exorcist" and Tim Curry. I understand that unless you are over 25, you do not know who I am talking about. Google it. One of the teen girls like said "I really like your voice Alissa, its all like sexy and smokey." And like I said "Hey thanks, I think I sound really scary. I normally sound like a Muppet Baby." And like she said "What is a Muppet Baby?" WHAT IS A MUPPET BABY?!? WHO DOESN'T KNOW WHAT A MUPPET BABY IS? Come on!! Come freakin' ON!!! When your world gets kinda weird and you wish that you weren't there.....just close your eyes and make a wish and you can be anywhere.........anyone alive during the 80s can finish that sentence man. Whatever happened to the days where people watched "Pee Wee's Playhouse?" What happened to Pop Rocks? Jelly Shoes? Slap Bracelets? Punky Brewster? Whatever happened to that guy from Growing Pains, you know the other less hot brother of Kirk Cameron? These were the good ol' days. Days of tying the corner of your shirt in a knot and playing with Beanie Babies. These teens were so much more stylish and with it than I am. They were talking about celebrities I had never heard of. Who is Trevor Ariza? And when did purple and yellow mismatched socks become the posh thing to wear? I am so old. I looked in the mirror that night at my almost 26 year old face and noticed my huge patch of grey hair is spreading. Enjoy being a teen while you can even though most days it feels like it sucks. I know that acne, cliques, dating, all of that stuff can be totally miserable. But then one day you wake up and look in the mirror and wonder where it all went, and where all of your dark colored hair went. Instead of asking yourself questions like what will I wear to the prom, you ask how am I going to pay for my car insurance? So while I don't know much about books, I do know that I am not as cool as I thought I was. (Or else I am SO cool that I am TOO cool to be considered cool-yeah that's it) so yeah, that's my thoughts for today....that and how come they never showed Nanny's face? (unless you know what a Muppet Baby is, you will not know what that means)